Worst. Day. Ever.

Dear Diary,

So things were going perfectly with Vron-Vron! We were vacationing through Italy, without a care in the world. Like a second honeymoon… I mean, who wouldn’t want that? Things were FINALLY going as I’d always hoped but never expected they would. Things were so greats that, as horrible as it might sound, not even thoughts about Alexei or my Seryozha could bring me down.


But anyway, we finally decided to go back to reality in St. Petersburg…WORST decision of life!

First of all, Betsy wouldn’t even come visit me! I thought we were friends – she always seemed to get me and Vronsky but now she’s too ashamed to even be seen with me? I should have known she wouldn't be a true friend; something just didn’t feel quite right about her from the start.

Number 1 on my St. Petersburg to-do-list was to see Seryozha because it his birthday was coming up (plus, it had been sooooo long). So I sent a letter to Alexei about it and omg, can you believe it? He completely ignored me! I don’t know whether to be more furious that he wants to cut me out of my son’s life or more shocked that he finally decided to grow a pair! I know that Countess Ivanova is behind it, something about the way she’s been hanging around him so much… and she even sent me the nastiest letter in response to mine!

Despite all that, I went over to see Seryozha today. And even though I had to sneak around like a badass to see him, it was so worth it! I just cried of happiness, being able to finally see and talk to my cute, (still) chubby, little boy. And when I got home I just couldn't stop looking through his old photo albums and baby pictures! Okay okay, so I know I’m not supposed to play favorites but I realized I just connect much more with Seryozha than I do with Anna. He’s the only one who still loves me...

But when I got home, things started to go ape-shit. I just wanted to have a nice night out at the opera; it just seems unfair that Vron-Vron can still hang out with his old friends while I have to hide away from society. So anyway, at the opera, Mme Katsarov made a scene and pretty much called me a whore in front of everyone! And then for the whole night, everyone was just whispering and gossiping about me.

I waited until I got home before I cried my eyes out and Vronsky pretty much just said “I told you so” – thanks! I’ve never felt this alone and humiliated before; Vronnie’s truly all I have left (and I’m even starting to doubt that much…). All I know is I desperately need to get out of this place; so we’re leaving for the country tomorrow.

Karma’s a bitch...and I don’t feel like I’ll ever get out of this mess!